Testimony

Let me start by saying that I am new to this blog thing. I am a Christ believer and follower. I have been married for 12 years and 10 of those years I was a lustful,sexually immoral person addicted to porn. I was the kind of person who thought I was a "Good Person". I would always say that Christians are money hungry,hypocrites. Granted there are some out there,but I would not call them Christians. So it took me being laid off to find God. So I said the "Sinners prayer" and thought I was still a "Good Person". Now after that decision I was still a lustful,sexually immoral person addicted to pornography. It was until listening to Way of the Master and reading God's word that lead me to see what a wretch I am and that I needed Jesus to accept me and not me "Accept him." So God helped me to kill the sin of pornography,sexual immorality and Lust. Jesus' said; You have heard it said ,'Do not commit adultery.' But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.'(Mat5:27-28) When I read that I was dropped. I was doing that all the time. Even though I was "Saved." From reading God's word I have realized that I am a wretched sinner in need of a savior. Not a "Good Person" that needed to make a decision. Jesus is not a decision. To be truly saved you must Repent,Turn from your sinful ways,and put your Trust in Jesus Christ alone. So I heard this on Way of the Master and read it for myself. So I did this. But was still struggling. Now the difference was that when I did fall to my addiction to porn I felt bad. Now the bible says that when we feel guilty of a sin it shows that we are growing in holiness. That made me feel good. But when you fall and get up,than fall and than get up and than fall.. Your living in the sin. That was me. Just recently yesterday God finally broke me down. I had never gotten prayer from the elders in my church. I would just ask for forgiveness. So God broke me down to ask for prayer. I fought it because it is so embarrassing and I was afraid it would be spread around the congregation,but God kept pushing it. So I finally asked for prayer and God broke me so bad that I was just a balling baby. Now I am a broken person that is waiting for God to rebuild me,not to my specifications,not the worlds specifications,but by his specifications. His perfect blue print planned. I know that it is not going to be instant,but will be on his time. Let say that if you are addicted to Pornography you must stop. It is evil and will destroy your life. It almost destroyed my marriage!!! Like I said I was addicted for 10 years of marriage. My wife was clueless. When she found out it devastated her. She was angry and couldn't forgive me. She has forgiven me,but I know that it isn't easy for her. So I am working to help her in anyway I can to be a better husband to her with God's help.





I will end this post by saying that if your addicted to pornography whether a believer or unbeliever to kill it. But understand you can't do it by yourself. You have to have help. So first Repent,turn from all sin and trust in Jesus Christ. When we sin we are storing up God's wrath.(Romans 2:5) But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant hear,you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God's wrath,when his righteous judgment will be revealed.





I pray that my testimony will help anyone struggling with the addiction of porn. I plan to continue post my struggle and my eventual victory in this. Praise God and all glory to Him.





God Bless you all.